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Review: Keller's Drive-In
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People sitting in truck beds: 18
Motorcycles: 2
Times I wondered if someone would come to my car to take my trash or if I should just drive off with a tray attached to my car: 5
Have you ever seen the blinking lights of Keller's Drive-In as you cruise down Northwest Highway late at night? It's a sight to behold. At first look, you think it must be either a trashy carnival or a fancy strip club. (Can't really decide right now if it's a good thing that those two kinds of places conjure up the same basic mental image, but they do.) At second look, you decide it's definitely a strip club. Possibly a drive-in strip club. Oooh. Drive-in strip club. Why hasn't that happened yet? It's a no-brainer: drive in, park your car, get some boobs on the windshield, order a burger from the turf 'n' turf menu and get back to work. Are open container laws holding them back or something?
When I showed up to Keller's again in the daylight, I parked my car right in front of the menu, put my blinkers on just like the sign says I should when I'm ready to order, and answered a smoky "What'll it be?" with "Cheeseburger, fries and a Coke." I could have ordered a beer and would have ordered a beer, but my hangover said it would barf in my hair if I didn't take it easy until the sun went down again. So, it'll have to be next time I visit Keller's that I get to peruse and abuse their beer options. For now, I'm just going to enjoy my way-under-10-bucks lunch.
After spending a few minutes watching the guy next to me jam out to Dead or Alive and another minute or two watching the guy behind the glass in the kitchen of Keller's chop up lettuce, a fancy tray was attached to my car window and my food arrived. And it was glorious. The thin-patty burger was perfectly cooked, juicy, fully loaded and came with grilled onions at no extra charge. I even got my own salt and pepper shakers. That right there is called added value, my friends.
In the short time I've spent trying to find cheap-ass food in Dallas that doesn't taste like ass, I've found a lot of good burger joints. And Keller's should absolutely be added to the list. The hamburger + beer + drive-in is a fantastic invention. You get fed, hammered, fed again and unhammered all in one place without ever having to leave your car. Cheers to that.
