To Air Is Human

I'm not much of a guitar player. Worse, I'm an embarrassingly bad air-guitar player...mostly because, despite my lack of actual guitar skills, I still try to feign expertise at actual playing when I get around to faking it. It's bad: I twiddle my fingertips as I slide my hand up and down an imaginary fret board, trying to act like I know what I'm doing. Only I don't, so it ends up looking like my right arm's having a seizure as my left is doing some sort of mangled jazz hand thing. But at least I know I'm bad. I know, for instance, that I'm no C-Diddy or Bjorn Turoque. Who are they? Uh, only two of the greatest air-guitar players in the world. There was even a documentary--2006's Air Guitar Nation--made on their attempt to win top honors at the world championships, held each year in Finland. At 10 p.m. Saturday, at the House of Blues' Back Porch, Dallas air-tists (OK, I just made that up) will try their hand at becoming the next great air-guitar player, participating in the Texas regional competition of the U.S. Air Guitar Championships. Tickets are $10; visit usairguitar.com for info.
Sat., July 26, 10 p.m., 2008